How can i punish my boyfriend

But punishment often comes in more subtle forms. Refusing affection or intimacy can be used as punishment. And one of the most common — and also most damaging — ways that we do that is by punishing someone in a relationship. Rather than getting to the heart of the problem and working through it, the lack of communication exacerbates disconnection and pushes you even further apart.

As a result, this makes you feel even less in control. When you start to punish your partner, you risk creating a deep level of injury. There is no love in punishment — only hurt, pain and neglect that leads to:. The partner being punished in a relationship will put up a wall to protect themselves from enduring more pain.

But what is the alternative? How do you express your disappointment and ensure that your partner learns from the experience?

It comes down to one key ingredient — pleasure. Dolphins are inherently sensitive creatures. They are highly social, but if something happens that breaks their state, they can fall into a deep frustration. Now, research has shown that when a trainer wants them to step out of that frustration and perform for them, but chooses to do so with force and anger, the dolphin feels that energy and retreats even further.

And when the dolphin begins to perform the way the trainer wants, the trainer immediately reinforces it. They never punish; they only reinforce. And when there is nothing there to reinforce, the trainer only seeks to create a little spark that ultimately guides the dolphin in the right direction. This is not meant to minimize the complexity of humans, nor to be condescending.

Take potty training as another example. How does that feel?! I mean, um, gosh sorry…. Hey life happens. Maybe he left his phone at home and went out for the afternoon. Maybe it died. Or are you…. You feel for the guy. Under one condition…. Your man is confused, panicked, and out of character so the more self-control you have, the more he will be attracted and gravitate towards you. He expects tears, anger, hurtful words, and full-blown emotion, which he wanted to use to justify his deceit to you in the first place.

This makes him look at you in a fresh light. And desire is what you want him to feel. Rule 2: Speak with your actions, not with your words. Reinforcement Technique: Respect. You see, men get distracted, restless, defensive, and irritated, which makes the issue worse than when it started. Talking about feelings is comforting to women, but it makes men physically uncomfortable.

By talking, you are indirectly telling your man you are waiting for him to change. He knows you are not going anywhere.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all. If he disrespects you or takes you for granted in any way, your best tactic is to pull back a little with no explanation as to why you are doing it.

He realizes he needs to make a change or he will lose her. He gains a newfound respect for her. Rule 3: Depending on the severity, break up with him before he breaks up with you. Reinforcement Tactic: Courtship. Calmly tell him that you need a break from each other to evaluate if the relationship is working. Leave money for the bill, then get up and leave. This is a power move that shows you are independent and have the final word. When he is dumped, he will try to win you back.

The thought of not having you will make him work hard at getting you back and keeping you. Men enjoy the competition. Rule 4: A little jealousy is a good thing. Reinforcement Technique: Appreciation. The sting of jealousy reminds your partner how important you are to him by telling him about what he appreciates about you and your relationship. Jealousy pushes a man to not only feel appreciation for you but express it too. Getting angry at the thought of someone wanting you is a reminder of the physical attraction he has for you.